Rabbit Hole

 This film from 2010, directed by John Cameron Mitchell and written by David Lindsay- Abaire, shows different ways of the process of grieving. The story follows the couple Becca (Nicole Kidman) and Howie (Aaron Eckhart) after the loss of their son.

Their son was killed in a car accident where he was just running after his dog and crossed the road. Here a young man named Jason is driving down the street and is unable to stop.

The focus is on the grieving process of Becca, Howie and Jason after eight months after the accident.

Howie’s process is to keep every memory of his son alive: his toys, his clothes, videos of him, and even his fingerprints.  He has a need to feel his son around him, which is a problem when his wife box up all of her sons things and even donate his clothes. Howie feels that Becca is trying to erase their son away from their lives, and looses it when Becca accidently deletes a video of him on Howie’s phone. Becca is a housewife, she has to look at her son’s belongings everyday and because that she feels she can’t move on and tells Howie that she wants them to find another house.

Howie convinces Becca that they should try group therapy to meet other people in the same situation. Listening to others talking about their loved once being with God and that he needed another angel and it’s all a part of Gods plan, gets Becca annoyed so she leaves and tells Howie, she wont go back there.

Becca’s sister, Izzy reveals that she is pregnant and has known it for weeks, feeling she it was a bad time and therefor didn’t tell Becca. Becca shows that she is happy for her and that she shouldn’t feel like that, even though deep down shows the unfairness of it all.

Becca absence herself from Howie, who tries to be intimate with her, which makes him finds comfort with Gabby from the group therapy, though stating that this is just a friendship, as he loves his wife. 

Becca is out driving and sees Jason. She follows him to the library, curious to what he is doing there, she finds the book he turned back in and borrows it. She finds it is about parallel worlds. She reads the book and later starts meeting Jason at the park, and finds out that he was doing some research for a comic he was making. He tells her that she can read it when it is done, if she’d like to.

Meeting Jason several times in the park is Becca’s way of being comforted. Jason doesn’t tell her to move on, he apologize and she let him know that they don’t blame him.

Howie finds out that Becca has been meeting Jason, when he shows up at their house to give Becca his comic book that he has finished. Howie feels betrayed. This makes him lie to his wife telling her he’s going to the group therapy, but is really meeting up with Gabby to show affection. When he gets to her, he can’t pull through with it and goes back home only to find that Becca is not home.

Becca has read the comic book and wants to give it back to Jason. The comic is how we see Jason’s grieving. He made a story where the boy loses his father, and travel through different parallel worlds to find him and sees that in other worlds he is alive.

A conversation between Jason and Becca gives us the idea that his father is dead and Becca believes that the story evolves around the death of his father. The story shows us not only how he wish his father would be alive in another parallel world, but also how he tries to release the pressure of guilt by convincing himself with the thought that the boy he killed is alive in another universe.  This thought is the only healing Becca has found consolation with.

“And so this is just the sad version of us...

Somewhere out there I'm having a good time. ”

Howie and Becca decide to fake it. They will throw a party for some friends and family and show them that they are moving on and appreciate the people around them.  Taking the steps of healing together.

Fail

So I failed. In August I wrote a lists of goals that I would have to Christmas to complete. One of the goals was to finish my script.

In September 2013 I moved from Norway to Southampton, England to finish my Bachelor degree in Film and Television at Southampton Solent University (SSU). As my Major Project (MP) I chose to write a screenplay for a 30min short (so roughly 30 pages) in stead of writing the script of a 10min short and having to produce it. As I was leaning more on becoming a screenwriter it was an easy choice.

I developed a script with the working title "RED" (it still has that title). Nine months later 10 months later I was done at SSU and moved back home to Norway, and got my grade for the MP, an A. I knew my tutor in MP liked my script, because he several times told me to tell him when I wanted to produce it. This gave me a lot of confident and chose to develop that same script from a short to a feature film. I started doing this in August, and though I already had a beginning, middle and and end, I had to change a lot though the story still was the same. This was very challenging and it still is! I've had good writing days, but even more horrible days where I've only been able to stare at the screen and feeling all empty in that big head of mine. I wrote 20 pages in a day once....ONCE! The next day everything was gone, and haven't written anything since (6.Dec) Now I know that when I first start writing... I should never stop and just stay up for a couple of days....Well anyway, so here I am, the day before Christmas (We celebrate on the 24th Dec, with Christmas dinner and presents) and I still have 30 pages to go.... Merry Christmas everybody!

Photo by: Guri Rognskog, http://guri88.weebly.com

I, Frankenstein

This film gives me the same feeling I got when I watched Van Helsing (2004, damn, that's a long time ago)  Now I liked Van Helsing, could be because of Hugh Jackman or just because I love the classics Dracula, The Wolfman, Frankenstein and all that, and love seeing different versions that people come up with. I love monsters. Though a lot about Van Helsing was like "Whaaaaaaat?" Well anyway...

The Frankenstein monster is suppose to be... I guess freakish looking, an abomination. But in I, Frankenstein the monster is played by Aaron Eckhart,  who is always doing a good job in my eyes and is someone I'd like to see more of. Aaron (Yeah we're totally on first name basis, sure) portray the Frankenstein monster as a very good looking monster (which isn't really Aaron's fault... he's just naturally good looking), with no soul (not Aaron, but the monster or Adam), but whom (do people still say whom?) you want to root for. How it's not his fault that he is a monster, but the society... well I guess mostly V. Frankenstein's fault as he made him and then was like "Yeah I don't like it... I am just gonna get rid of it." Victor was asking for it.

I like what the female scientist Terra (of course there's a female getting really attached to the "monster" It's Beauty and Beast all over again...just better because the Beast still looks like a "beast") Now, Terra says: "You're only a monster if you behave like one." That's true, and he obviously needed to be told that.

Let's move on to other parts of the film, such as the demons and the gargoyles. Bill Nighy is doing a great job as prince Naberious, he nailed it. Reminds me of his Victor in Underworld, which isn't weird since it's the same producers, which I didn't know until I just saw it on the poster right now. I should have known though.  Back to the demons. The demons basically wants to rule the world and needs the help of Adam (monster), Adam on the other hand is more on his own side, but is leaning towards the gargoyles. I think the best about the gargoyles is how they turn from stone to human, that is pretty well done, but the whole war between the demons and the gargoyles I think is weird. Especially when the demons storm the cathedral and the gargoyles kills a lot of them, which means a lot of that descend light their soul do and what.... NO human can see that? Are they invisible for humans? Was this mentioned in the film, because I've seen it three times and I can't remember that. Someone has to have seen it.. People are not THAT blind...or deaf. And this descend and ascend thing they use, it just have Supernatural all written over it.


A plus about the movie is that it doesn't focus on the how he was made which most of the Frankenstein movies do. Just a little part of how it all began and then move on, which is good. The storyline could have been worked on... a lot.

And the scars on Adam's body could have been more visible. On the picture to the right, you can clearly see the scars, however most of the scenes they aren't really visible, which is a shame, because they are really cool looking scars. The scars on his body should have been even more grotesque.

Another thing that I do like though is how they have made some parts of his face in a green tone. Such as around the eyes on the cheek bones. Gives it more a corpse-like look.

The movie has been butchered and I do understand that. But it's one of those films that you can just watch again and again (that's how it is for me anyway) Maybe because I see a lot of potential and see what I would have done different, the same with Van Helsing. However I really like the casting they did for this movie.

A lot to work on, but fun to watch.

Pitching

While working at Flimmer Film, I also had to write a screenplay for a short film. I used my easter holiday to do that. In the beginning I had a bit of a problem starting, because I wanted to write about bullying. And the first few stories was just so dark and sad and I had problems writing an end to it, then I was thinking about short films and how they tend to be: Weird and a bit comical. So still wrote about bullying, but came up with and idea that wasn't so dark and sad but that showed two little kids standing up for not only themselves, but for others. My goal being that people who see or hear bullying shouldn't just walk away and pretend they never saw it, but take action.

So today we had to pitch our screenplays in front of another film class plus our teacher and David McHenry (set designer) I hate standing in front of a crowd. I get so nervous every time I feel sick. The pitching went well, though it didn't get picked out, I did get some points for it, which I am happy for. Every time we pitch, the others rank the stories they like and the one with most points get chosen. Two film get chosen to be the ones we'll make for our exam. So after the pitching I feel exhausted. Put in a way, I don't really mind doing it, it's just the wait that is horrible, not the actual pitching.

Internship

For the last four weeks (not including easter) I have been working at Flimmer Film in Bergen as an internship. Here we got to see how a production company in Bergen works, and the people here are really nice and give us projects to do on things they are working with. Been doing some transcribing for the first time which I thought was an okay job to do, even though you sometimes can get annoyed at the person talking with all his/hers uhms and aaaahs and uuuuhs. I also got to edit a scene in a documentary about death they were doing which was great, because I've done little editing even though I like it, so I also learned a lot the weeks I was here. Unfortunately I lost a whole week because I was home sick. I am now on the last day here and even though I am looking forward to go back to school, I am gonna miss this place where I felt very welcomed.

Filmschool

Since I was a kid I have always loved films. I really wanted to become an actress, but because of my big shyness I didn't do anything to make that dream become true. I had very little faith in myself. When I got older I would always get comments that I must have been going to a drama class, which I didn't...for some reason I didn't choose any creativity courses at "high school"(Videregående)...which wasn't very smart of me...

BUT in 2011 I started on the Norwegian School of Creativity (Norges Kreative Fagskole) where I took the course Film. I found out that if I couldn't make myself be infront of the camera...then why not be behind it! 

I really have to thank my boyfriend for helping me a bunch with my low self-esteem, he made me believe in myself and that I should do anything to follow my dream. So I did! Well I got one step closer at least... 

The first year was really great, we did a lot of productions and we evolved through everyone of them. At this stage I could already say that camera wasn't quite my thing. Screenplay on the other hand was. I have always loved writing stories so writing screenplays was just up my alley. 

My second year, which is now actually, is where I got a taste for being a producer. On our projects I was always the producers because everybody else wanted to do the technical stuff and not have to worry about the paperwork... Me on the other hand sort of... like paperwork. Well film paperwork. Getting actors, locations, fixing the contracts, getting everything we needed and cheap or...for free. And I actually enjoy that. But I think I still have A LOT to learn.

Now that I know my two places in film (writer, producer) it easier to focus and work hard for it. 

Film is a tough business, and I really hope I'll make it.

The Nutrilett Diet: Day 5

12.23

Today I was really tired and the only thing that dragged me out of bed was my cat who wanted to get out and do whatever cats do when they’re outside. (9.00am) And since I was already up I forced myself not to return to bed, but to “make” breakfast which was a Caramel/Toffee bar.  So I got my camera and started shooting and eating. Sometimes I get cravings for stuff I didn’t really eat much before, like chips.

And now (three and a half hours later) I am having some fruit which consist of an apple and a Clementine.

17.40

Had another bar, but this time it was the Dark Chocolate one. I had that around 15.00.

Also had one of those chocolate shakes again… but I am not tired of the diet, not yet anyway. This was around 18.00-ish. I then had a toffee bar 22.30. I was hungry when I went to bed last night, and I couldn’t sleep, so I hope this will help.